The new day. A heck of a new day

I declared the biggest, deepest, most sincere and compelling love of my life, which I have kept secret (well, sort of...) for almost a year, which drove me as far as Ukraine in the hope to mend my heart.

Nothing will change, but the simple fact that you now know it, oh all too wonderful Inna, now that you know what you mean to me, well, I feel like everything's going to change.
No, I am not so bold as to hope that you'll ever come to me; I just feel so free now, and, if it was possible, I even love you still more, and I just don't feel my stomach doing hoola-hops whenevr a image of you enters my mind, or the memory of your sweet voice echoes in my ears from my abused memory...
Love you so much.

But the day didn't end like that.
Oh no...

Fearing the manic depression that can come after this pre-doomed declarations, I just headed for the first shop, bought vodka and orange juice, and then got back at university (?) to drink with a friend and bury pain before it's come, with the result of ending up totally, unrecoverably and pathetically drunk by 3', so much and with such a fuss that it will take a long time before I can ever get back there without feeling deadly embarassed.
It had to happen.

What can I do? I just love you so much.
Can't believe I really said this...